Welcome to 2018! The first day of a new year, whether it is the start of a school year or the first day of an actual calendar year, always brings with it such promise. I love the feeling of opening up a new journal and seeing the crisp white pages before me. And then it doesn't take long for the first mistake to happen. The ink smears or a spelling error appears and everything feels tarnished as a result. Yet, life is full of mistakes and imperfections and it is all about what we do with them that can truly define us.
As I look back on 2017, I wonder if I have learned anything or if I am just doomed to repeat some of my same mistakes over and over again. How do we break out of a rut or find a new path to follow? This led me to think about what does it mean to be brave?
I remember when I was going through cancer treatment that friends would say that I was so brave. I never felt brave. Most of the time, I just felt like I followed what my oncologist recommended. Sure, we discussed treatment options but you do what you have to do. I am pretty good at doing what I am supposed to do, especially when the path is clear.
Brave on the other hand is when you are faced with two choices: a safe choice and one that might be a bit riskier. And I wonder when I became so risk averse?!
Somewhere over the past several years I lost confidence in me. It isn't that I am afraid of working hard but I realized that due to a number of circumstances I have started to play it safe or stick with things that I am certain of how they will turn out. I realized that I was also resisting change. As someone who normally likes a challenge and can get bored easily, I was never really resistant to change. However, as I lost some of my confidence and began questioning myself, it is easier to take a less resistant and more dependable path.
Finally, I have been thinking a lot about balance. It also seems to be the word that I find myself using almost as a mantra. Balance seems like the "holy grail" of life. Can we really find that sweet spot between being crazy busy and bored & unfocused. I realize that there are ebbs and flows to life, but something seems to be missing. I often equate it to energy. Are the activities that we engage in energy-giving or energy-draining? Energy-giving activities, even when we are busy, give us the fuel to keep going. I think this is what I am searching for.
Balance between work and home. Balance between tasks. Balance in how to engage with something and how to not to stress out.
After a lot of reflection, I recently decided on balance as my one little word for 2018. A balance with my personal life and my work life. Though balance is my one little word, I suspect that being brave, finding confidence and welcoming change will be a part of the journey in 2018. I look forward to the journey this year and in seeing what unfolds.
Finally, may 2018 turn out to be a phenomenal year for all of us.